Sonny said goodnight to both the lieutenant and Barba, unable to help himself watch the latter leave. When he turned back to the group, Fin just looked at him in disbelief. "What?" Sonny asked.
The sergeant cocked his head. "I thought you weren't interested in Barba."
"I'm not," Sonny protested as he felt himself grow redder.
Amanda just rolled her eyes. "Your mouth says no but you may need to mop up the drool."

“I’m sorry,” Sonny said, standing as well and taking a step towards Barba. “I didn’t mean—”
“Just go, detective,” Barba nodded towards the door without looking at Sonny. “And next time, if you’re not interested in someone, don’t kiss them.”

Their work relationship extended beyond what Rafael had experienced with the other SVU detectives when Carisi asked to shadow him. At that point in time, he was still teetering between becoming a lawyer or staying a cop, but he still wanted experience in a courtroom. Rafael didn’t mind providing that casual mentorship as long as it stayed that way. He had heard of too many eager-to-please students hopping into a prosecutor’s bed and leaving with a job, and while he didn’t think Carisi would stoop to such a level, at the time, he hadn’t been confident enough in his character to be sure of it.

And so Carisi shadowed him; he followed Rafael like a stray labrador puppy, feeding off of praise when he did something right. He had—has—a starry-eyed innocence that Rafael couldn’t help but appreciate, almost bringing up memories of his younger lawyer days, albeit straight from the oven of an Italian bakery on Staten Island. Rafael didn’t mind the shadow; he was smart, and he studied the law and took it seriously, and he genuinely wanted to help others.

It was after Sonny passed the bar exam, and after he confirmed he would be staying at SVU, that Rafael recognized their relationship as something beyond a mentor-student level.

Sonny wasn’t going to hop into his bed and ask for a job. Not because he wasn’t interested, but because his character was anything but that. He worked hard, he was committed to people, he thrived on their good fortune and being able to help them pick themselves off the ground after a harsh tragedy. Rafael was worried that a job like SVU would break him, and he would abandon the squad for a division without as much emotional baggage, but Sonny proved that he was passionate and strong enough to avoid that.

It was after the bar exam that their intimacy became clearer. Sonny liked calling him Rafael when it was just the two of them, teasing him with dimples and sparkling eyes. In the early stages, when Sonny asked for praise and Rafael shut him down in an attempt to humble him, he was met with sad eyes and a pout only puppies could master. Soon enough, Sonny picked up on quips and was able to fire them back with a sharp wit. Their words had soft innuendos hidden under a layer of flirtation and dancing around a question of what they were. Rafael wasn’t shy about being bisexual—he had long since embraced it—but it had never come up with Sonny. All he knew was what he had gathered from overheard conversations of a first boyfriend and context clues from flirtations.

“You doing anything exciting this weekend?” Carisi had asked one day after court. They were lingering outside of the courthouse after a win, and the squad was sharing their plans to celebrate. It couldn’t have been a year or so before Sonny’s invitation to Syracuse.

“I wanted to catch up on my loss of sleep,” Rafael admitted nonchalantly. He looked up at Carisi expectantly. “Maybe read something that isn’t court reports.”

Carisi glanced over at the rest of the squad. “Sounds nice. Do you have any dinner plans?”

Rafael sensed there was something greater the detective wanted to get to, and after the battle they had had in court, cutting to the chase would have been better for him. “If you’re trying to hide something, you’re better off getting it out.”

Carisi jumped at the demand, but a playful smile quirked on his lips. “If you’re not doing anything for dinner, you can come to my place. I’m making a proper Italian meal for the squad, free of charge.”

“Is that so?” Rafael couldn’t help the curious raise of his eyebrows, and he took a cautious step forward. “Well, you caught my attention. Do I need to bring anything?”

“Just your presence and an empty stomach.” Carisi’s smile was blinding; Rafael was aware of his dimples, but that look he gave him on the courthouse steps was different. He saw how deep they went, he witnessed the accompanying shine to his eyes, he felt the spread of warmth that dissolved in his chest. It was startling to feel how much one interaction could get a reaction so strong from him.

The squad dinner was pleasant. Noah and Jessie gave a performance to some Sinatra records after dinner, Fin had new photos of his grandson to show off, and Sonny made a fantastic meal. What topped it off for Rafael was their goodbyes, when Sonny had walked him down to his Lyft, the last to leave, and their hands brushed together. A cheesy rom-com might have suggested their eyes showed off the desire they both had to close the distance, to capture his lips, to clear the air and talk over the bridge between them. But nothing happened, aside from their lingering grasp when Rafael got in the cab, and the goodnight texts they shared before they went to their respective beds to sleep.

Rafael is still scrolling through his phone for restaurant options; he expects another lead into their hotel room, but all he hears is the beep from the keycard unlocking their door and nothing else. He looks up, straight into Sonny’s eyes, and he realizes why they have yet to move.

Sonny is staring at him. Not waiting for an answer, or not wondering when he’ll look up. His gaze radiates with silent patience and admiration that is meant specifically for him. Rafael feels warm under it, and he forgets about finding a place to eat. He didn’t realize until they started their fling just how beautiful Sonny’s eyes were. When he smiled, his eyes crinkled and hid them, and when he was in thought, his brow furrowed just enough to shroud them. But when they were close enough, and neither of those were a problem, Rafael could appreciate the shimmer of blue, the soft tone that wandered over his face for any sign of discomfort, that watched him walk out of the room for a bit too long. It made sense that Sonny would have beautiful eyes. It matched his jovial personality, keeping perfect rhythm with his feet and his hands and—

Rafael breaks himself out of his daze. He hurriedly takes the keycard from Sonny and gets the door open before he pulls Sonny inside. As soon as the door closes, Rafael pulls Sonny to his chest. Sonny had already made a step towards him, but the hurried movement closes the distance between their mouths much quicker. He tastes familiar, like returning home after a long day at work, or a meal cooked in the vicinity of his kitchen with a recipe passed through generations. Rafael hopes the hammering of his heart cannot be felt, but he knows the hope is for naught when Sonny pulls back to smile at him.

Being mad would be easier if the dimples weren’t so damn convincing.